1. Your local public library reference desk keeps a file in their drawer with a code word for your name on it, containing shortcuts for finding information on all of the goofy and esoteric things you ask for five, ten, or fifty times a day.

2. You find yourself buzzed and at the library at 11 o’clock on a Monday morning, mumbling drunken memories about your college roommate at the librarian as she attempts to get you signed onto a computer to check your email using 1. A library card number that you don’t remember 2. A PIN that you don’t remember 3. An email service that you don’t remember and 4. A username and password that you don’t remember. You find yourself shrieking ecstatically when, wonder of wonders, you do somehow managed to get signed on to your email account to find that your college roommate has emailed you the pictures he promised. Now it's time to fish around in your pocket for a fistful of lint and warm pennies to give to the librarian so she can print out all of these pictures for you, but not before you reflect upon each and every one of them, sharing with the librarian the incoherent memories that each one conjures, interjecting your reminiscences with random exclamations causing everyone around you to silently hate the librarian for not kicking you out of the library.