I’d like to have heard the conversation at Luna Bar headquarters the day that LUNAbars® (Nutrition for Women™) were born.

Executive 1: There aren’t enough products on the market these days for women to buy. Let’s create a product geared specifically at women.

Executive 2: That’s a great idea! Let’s see, what could it be?

Exec 1: What do women like?

Exec 2: Well, women like infants, and flowers, and men with Australian accents…

Exec 1: Can we package and market Australians to women?

Exec 2: I don’t think so. Too many issues with naturalization and immigration services.

Exec 1: I suppose you’re right. We don’t want to have all these women suing us when their Australians get deported.

Exec 2: How about we market a line of cigarettes specifically for women?

Exec 1: That’s a fabulous idea! We could come up with a tag line linking cigarette smoking to personal independence—

Exec 2: “You’ve come a long way, baby!”

Exec 1: That’s great! What a catchy line!   

Exec 2: Except that it’s already been trademarked by Virginia Slims.

Exec 1: Oh, shit. Well, anyways, women are more concerned with health these days, or so I’ve heard.

Exec 2: Maybe we could market a line of healthy products to women.

Exec 1: Healthy products!?! What a great idea! My head is spinning with the possibilities.

Exec 2: Women love health, and they love products…

Exec 1: But what kinds of healthy products do women love more than any others? Those are the kinds of products we should make.

Exec 2: Infants…flowers…chocolate…chocolate! I know—let’s make chocolate flower infants!

Exec 1: Hmm. Hmm. I see where you’re going, but I also think that it’s a crowded market right now.

Exec 2: The chocolate flower infant market?

Exec 1: Yes. Though how about this: we market a line of chocolates to women.

Exec 2: Chocolates for women? Good god man, stop now or you’ll draw and quarter my brain! 

Exec 1: What’s more, we can market them as “healthy” chocolates. We can create a line of “healthy” candy bars, just for women.

Exec 1: Women do love their chocolate candy bars, but would they really buy a bar marketed specifically to women?

Exec 2: If they’re marketed as “healthy,” you bet they will. Women will flock to buy them.

Exec 1: Quick question: how could a candy bar be “healthy”?

Exec 2: We’ll think of something. In the meantime, we also have to figure out how to incorporate the words “green tea” and “antioxidants” into our marketing strategy.

Exec 2: As well as charge twice as much as someone would normally pay for a candy bar.

Exec 1: (cackling gleefully) Mix in some vague, Eastern-sounding concepts like “balance” and “wholeness” and we’ve got ourselves a cash cow!

Exec 2: Now what shall we call our little moneymaker?

Exec 1: How about “The Diana Bar”?

Exec 2: After the princess?  

Exec 1: I was thinking more along the lines of the mythological goddess of the hunt, but sure, why not?

Exec 2: Too bad Amazon’s already taken. How about Leia Bar? Or Oprah Bar?

Exec 1: You know, women are also associated with the moon.

Exec 2: They are?

Exec 1: Yeah. Not sure why. Something to do with their period, or something. But anyways, how about we call it the Moon Bar?

Exec 2: No. No way. Uh-uh.

Exec 1: No?

Exec 2: No man. Ever hear of Moon Pies®?

Exec 1: Why yes, they’re delicious!

Exec 2: But women also probably think of them as fattening, like Twinkies. No way do we want to market a fattening, pie-like product to women.

Exec 1: But they won’t be pies! They’ll be bars!

Exec 2: We might as well call them “Fat Bars.”

Exec 1: Okay, fine. Let’s try to dress it up a little. Like, what’s Latin for “moon”?

Exec 2: I dunno. “Lunar,” or something.

Exec 1: Lunar Bars? Whaddya think?

Exec 2: It’s okay…maybe a little Space-Agey.

Exec 1: I’ve got it! Lun-ah Bars! Luna Bars!

Exec 2: It works! You’re a genius!

Exec 1: Luna Bars®: expensive, sugar-filled nutrition for women™!

Exec 2: I can see the profits rolling in before my very eyes. I’m going to buy a mansion! What are you going to do with your profits?

Exec 1: Create more products for women. Maybe a wrap of some sort. Or a flavored diet beverage infused with "vitamins."

Exec 2: Good working with you, as always.

Exec 1: Fire up the production lines!