Look at this poor guy. The look on his face says, "Really? Are you serious?" I saw a couple walking their dog this morning with one of these things on, and it was only slightly more adorable than the lab I spotted several months ago, who was walking with his owners and carrying a log in his mouth. Not a stick, not a large branch, a fucking log. It was river driftwood, from the looks of things, and apparently he'd decided it was his no matter what, because he had to stop every few feet to put it down and rest his jaw. But then he'd pick it up again and onward they'd go.

In any event, the doggy backpack makes me wonder how close they are to coming out with a cat wagon--a wagon drawn by cats. Cat owners everywhere will race to harness the crazy energy of their pets into a carbon-emissions-free transportation system. Granted, it will involve a lot of zigzagging, seething inertia, and plunging headlong into the bushes, but I think we can agree that we need a little more of all three in our lives.